Summer’s over and cuffing season is finally here
It’s that time of year again. The leaves are falling, the weather is changing, and the Pumpkin Spice Lattes are emerging. All of that can only mean one thing, cuffing season is here. Yes, friends, with the changing of the weather comes the changing of the romantic season, as we shift from summer fun in the sun to committed partnerships, almost overnight.
Cuffing season is the time of year usually starting around September when there is a sudden scramble among single people to find a partner. So, what causes this almost imperceptible shift in the romantic climate? It usually comes down to the fear of facing the impending winter months and various important holidays alone. And, let’s be real, bringing a partner home for the holidays not only guarantees you a seat at the adults’ table, but it also might just keep your Uncle Joe on his best behaviour. It may even temporarily stave off the when are you going to meet a nice (girl or guy) and settle down questions. Not to mention you have a couch potato partner for all those cold, lonely, and generally desolate winter nights between holidays.
We get it, it’s tempting. But, the catch to cuffing season is that many people are just interested in a partner, not necessarily the partner. And, being a placeholder simply to fill a seat at a table or the hole of someone’s loneliness can get old pretty quickly. So, how can you stave off the siren song of this season? Check out these 5 Pro Tips below!
1. Figure Out What You Want
Being in a relationship during cuffing season isn’t a bad thing, but being in a relationship because of cuffing season, well that’s something else. So, before the musical chairs’ madness of the seasons begins, take a moment to think about what you genuinely want.
If you do want a partner, then think about what qualities would create long-term compatibility. You want to be with someone for a reason, not just a season. Making a list can help you get your thoughts organized and figure out the details that are actually important to you in a relationship. What qualities do you want your partner to possess? What do you need and want out of a relationship? And then think about why you even want to be in a relationship at this time in your life. If the answer revolves around anything about staving off loneliness or the seat at the adult’s table scenario, then maybe this isn’t the right time for partnership.
Timing in life can be everything, and there are times in our lives when partnership just isn’t a good option for us. So much of having a good relationship with others revolves around us having first and foremost a good relationship with ourselves. And maybe that is the relationship you will need to work on this cuffing season.
2. Don’t Settle
So, now that you’ve figured out what you genuinely want, stick to your guns! If the choice is between coupling up with someone you aren’t that interested in, or who doesn’t seem that interested in you, or being single. Stick with being single! While partnering up may seem like a solution to some of your winter month problems, generally cuffing relationships turn out to be far more trouble than they are worth.
Once the season ends one or both parties are in a relationship they quickly realize they never wanted to be in. Hurt feelings, harsh words, and hurtful behaviors generally ensure causing all sorts of chaos. So, go with your gut. If something inside you says that getting with this person feels an awful lot like settling, then go with that feeling. It is better to be single than to be the wrong person, trust us on that one.
3. Fill Your Calendar
Ready–Set–Book! Finding a few (or many) things to fill your calendar with is a great way to ward off loneliness during the fall and winter months. Even if you end up not attending all the events or parties you initially plan to, at least you will have the option. And, sometimes that is all it takes.
Sometimes the winter months can feel bleak, with shorter, darker days and more people spending their evenings in instead of out, the loneliness of singledom can feel amped up. But having a few things on your calendar gives you some things to look forward to. It provides assurance that you will not waste away alone in your cave, which, let’s be honest, is sometimes how winter months can feel. Many cities and towns have all kinds of fall and winter events, lots of people plan parties and you can even offer to host a few of your own! And remember, you don’t have to do every single thing you come up with on your list, but even having the option can really help with the winter loneliness.
4. Feather Your Nest
Feathering your nest is all about making your home and life as comfy as possible before the cold winter months arrive. With shorter days sometimes our energy is just not the same. Think about it, the winter is generally a time of rest. The animals are hibernating, the plants are tucked away for the winter, and everything is resting. That means sometimes we just aren’t as motivated to go out on the town as we are during the active summer months. We tend to stay close to our cave, aka our homes. So why not make that home as comfortable and entertaining as possible? Fill your home with fun activities and crafts, stock up on books from your must-read list, and check out upcoming Netflix series. Then you can think about how to make your cave comfy, some fall candles and decor paired with some fuzzy blankets can make your home feel warm and inviting. Make your home a place you really want to be, and then it will feel more like a pleasure than a punishment to stay in.
Feathering your nest means not just filling your home with things that make you feel comfy and cozy, but that you fill your life with people that make you feel that way too. Then you know that if loneliness starts to call, you can put it on hold and call a friend instead. Reach out to your friend network or attend some festivities to make a new one! Make sure you have friends or family nearby to create an impromptu holiday movie fest with, to grab a coffee and a hike with, or to create a trivia or game night crew! Making sure your nest is feathered with fun, festivities, and friends is how you can and will make it through cuffing season single and thriving!
5. Make Alternative Plans
One of the top reasons for Cuffing Season is the allure of not having to face family functions alone. Which, while understandable, begs the question, why? If family functions are that much of a downer for you, is attendance really mandatory? A lot of people in the Millennial and Gen Z generations are taking a good, long look at if facing the family fortress, is really in their best interest. Because here’s the thing, there is no law that says you have to go home for Christmas. There is no rule that says interaction with family over holidays is mandatory.
You get to choose how much or little time you spend with your family. So, if you find yourself going to drastic lengths to ease the pain of family functions, such as beginning an entire relationship you’re not that into, then now is the time to re-examine your plans.
Many people opt, instead of white-knuckling their way through a family holiday, to instead enjoy time with friends at events like Friendsgivings. You could also check out what events your neighbourhood, town or city has going on during the holidays. There could be day festivals and volunteer opportunities or, if you don’t see anything you like, why not create your own? Maybe you can be the answer that others are looking for! It’s a great way to get creative, meet new people and avoid the annual family feud. Maybe you could have a luau-themed Thanksgiving, or a Christmas Day BBQ, why stick to tradition? And doesn’t all of that sound like a lot more fun than an awkward holiday with your family with a partner you’re not that into by your side? It does! So, put on your planning hat and start making alternative plans!
Cuffing season can be tricky, but with these 5 Pro Tips, you can navigate this time with festivities and fun instead of cuffing and chaos! Give these tips a try and see how you not only can survive cuffing season, you can thrive in it!